I have been carted to Dermatologists for my mild, stubborn acne since I was in grade school. I’ve tried countless topicals, oral antibiotics, hormone modulators, over the counter treatments, Proactive- you name it, I’ve tried it.  Nothing gave me the flawless skin that I’ve always dreamed of.  My skin condition was mild, but its impact on my self-esteem was not.  Its outward appearance was aggravated by a lifetime of dermatillomania, an obsessive-compulsive behavior I inherited from my mother and grandmother. 

For years, dermatologists have been suggesting that I take Isotretinoin, commonly referred to by the brand name Accutane, when prescription after prescription failed to give me the results I was looking for.  I was always scared off by the potential side effects.  The idea of the dreaded “initial breakout,” or my manageable depression turning into suicidal thoughts terrified me. My mild acne didn’t seem to warrant the risks.

When I moved to New York, I returned to my usual cycle. I became fed up with my skin, visited a dermatologist, and she prescribed me a series of topicals and oral medications. When I was dissatisfied with the results, we had “the talk.”

Isotretinoin. It was an aggressive treatment option, but nothing else seemed to help my stubborn acne.  This conversation was different than the previous ones.  My doctor didn’t just explain the side effects, placing the burden of the risks squarely on me. 

Instead, she put me at ease.  She suggested that I start on a small dose and gradually work my way up.  We’d closely monitor any for side effects together, and if I ever started to have a health problem, I was always free to consult her about lowering my dose or discontinuing the medication.  More than likely, she said,  I’d only suffer dry skin and lips.

So, I agreed to start a course of Isotretinoin. In the weeks leading up to starting the medication, I suffered from crippling anxiety surrounding the potential side effects. But, as the weeks went on, the anxiety lifted.

Everyone’s experience of pharmacological effects is unique. I was fortunate to never experience a single side effect outside of dryness.  I never suffered an initial breakout.  Within two weeks, my skin was the clearest it had ever been, and that trend continued throughout my 8 month course. 

My dermatologist warned me that my acne could return after a few months, especially in the event that my acne was tied to my hormones.  After my skin’s oil finally returned to normal I did start having the occasional little bumps, but my pre-Isotretinoin every-pore-is-clogged condition never returned. Finding the right skincare products for my skin post-Isotretinoin has given me the no-foundation, silky smooth skin I have always dreamed of.

Taking Isotretinoin was the best thing I’ve ever done for my skin.  Not just because it cleared my stubborn acne, but also because over the 8 months course I was able to better manage my dermotillomania symptoms.  My skin is the clearest it’s ever been, and my skin-picking is at an all-time low. 

My advice to anyone considering Isotretinoin for their stubborn acne, mild or otherwise, would be to find a board-certified Dermatologist that makes you feel safe.  If you’re in New York, I highly recommend Dr. Lian Mack at GlamDerm.